Name: Lucifer. Luc to my old friend Jev, the Morning Star to hippies, and Boss to my employees. However, since I have your attention, please allow me to clear the air. I do not, nor will I ever, answer to the name Satan. Satan is a rather annoying twerp I once placed in charge of some of my less dignified earthly duties. The little bugger’s resulting power trip won him a first-class ticket to eternity behind bars.
Granted, someone recently unlocked his cage, but that’s neither here nor there.
Occupation: The Devil. I also answer to The Head Honcho, The Big Cheese, and One Scary Motherfucker
Age: Oh, that’s cute.
Height: Six foot four, last I checked. Six foot six with my horns.
Hair Color: Brown
Eyes: Whatever color I choose, though typically brown. I’ve been told they glow red or yellow on occasion. Once during the fifties, I believe I was accused of having what they call ‘Razzmatazz’ eyes…though I had just consumed some exceptionally bad mushrooms.
Identifying physical marks: I occasionally sport my devil horns, but only when I’m in a good mood. The fans love them.
Day or Night – I believe the Flight of the Concords put best: “the daytime of the night.”
Single or Taken – Thankfully single. You don’t truly know Hell until you’ve been married to my ex-wife.
Cat or Dog – I have both hellhounds and fire-cats, and do my best not to regard either preferentially.
Gun or Knife – I am not impressed with any manmade weapon. Then again, I can shoot fire from my hands, so I’m perhaps not the best deity to ask.
Upper body or Lower body – I find the whole body breathtaking. What is one part without the other?
Blond or Dark – In terms of partners? Well, if we’re going to limit it to those two options, I must say blonde. This is highly prejudicial on my part, I admit. My ex-wife had ebony-colored hair; were I ever to ease back into dating, I’d prefer not to be reminded of her.
Two legs or Four legs – Some people can barely stand on one. Let’s not complicate things.
Down town or Nature – Either/or seems so limiting. On one hand, the beauty of Jev’s initial creation is hard to beat, no matter how many skyscrapers are paved in the way. On the other hand, I truly enjoy seeing what these humans do with their—pardon the expression—god-given talents.
Love or Sex – I have not had the joy of romantic love, sadly. However, the love I feel for my Sins far eclipses what little pleasure there is to be had in sex. Though Jev tells me I simply haven’t met the right person yet.
Bacon and eggs or Pancakes – Why limit yourself? I’ll take all the above, as long as you throw in a few sticks of crème brulee French toast and some fried potatoes.
Lips or Neck – Lips. You can do so many things with them.
Dead or Alive – Alive. People are so much more troublesome when they’re dead, as that’s typically when they become my problem.
A few quick quotes: I have been described as manipulative, corny, stern, and at times plain terrifying. I must say it is an accurate assessment.
Anything else noteworthy: To the vast majority reading this, I sincerely hope we never have to meet.
My name is Iris. I am a mom (2 kiddies) and Art Director and I love to read books with a Happy Ever After. I launched Paranormal Cravings in 2010. But I first began reviewing books years ago on my old .blogger website. My bookshelf links to my Goodreads account, where you can check out over 900 of my book reviews. Besides being a book reviewer am I also an Art Director with over 17 years of experience in Design, Social Media Design, Internet Design, Social Media Marketing, Book Tours and other Online Book Promotions. On this website we offer related features, reviews, giveaways, interviews, guest posts and so much more. With PC BOOK TOURS we help authors promote their books online on all media. This fantastic service gives authors the exposure they deserve and offers bloggers more readers for their blogs.